Free Cuba

Ratters

Lowland Gorilla
Cigar: Free Cuba
Wrapper: Connecticut shade (Dominican?)
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican long filler
Vitola: Toro
Price: $1 if bought by the bundle. They actually make you take two bundles. Bastards.

Setting: Sun room, about 85 degrees out, 2pm, drinking a diet Sunkist that's about to be replaced with a root beer.



Pre-light. Well, the cigar is definitely shade grown, but with definite veins that are dark and give it a "vericose vein" appearance, and a wrap that you can see and is verging on loose. The cigar is firm and springy to the touch, well, if you find down pillows to be firm and springy. The foot give the appearance of a cigar that is going to draw VERY well. The cigar has a sweet smell to the wrapper, reminicent of my Backwoods days. I was going to smell the foot but didn't want to risk tabacco bits up the nostrils.



First third: The cigar clipped easily and I was rewarded with some tobacco confetti from the head. I felt so special. The cigar lit up easily with the Ronson, a lighter befitting the grand stature of this smoke. The promise of a free draw dutifly fulfilled, I was rewarded with a copious amount of smoke rich in the taste of.... well, bland tobacco. Not even the sweetness was present. Dry hay with some dry grass and hints of Sahara cause all I'm getting is DRY. It's like the cigar sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. The cigar ash is a nice light gray, maintaining it's integrity up to a full 1/4 inch. The loose draw does allow for a large amount of smoke to taste. I don't think I ever wished for a plugged cigar before.



Second third: The blessing of a loose draw is that the cigar is burning rather quickly. I must say the burn is even, if a tad wavy. The body has definitely moved up into the mild range. Though I must admit that it is producing a lot of smoke. Thin, dry, smoke. The hay and grass flavors remain, with hints of crab grass and dandelion entering the picture. But you do get some nice bitterness in there too. Did I mention it was dry. As a bonus, each puff is rewarded with a fireworks display of ash off the end. Thoughtful of them to add the extra entertainment. The ash is holding to almost the 1/2 inch mark now, well, whats left after the fireworks.



Final third: As I enter the final third I thought I was going to pull a Jerry. Seriously. But I kept it together. The body is moving into the medium range actually. Wish it woulda stayed mild. The dryness is lessening but I think it's because my salivary glands have gone into overdrive. The finish is sharp and unpleasant. It leaves a burning feeling in the back of your throat and roof of your mouth. OK, I just dry heaved twice at about the label and I think I'm gonna give up the ghost on this one. I was hoping to bring it to the nub, but can't. Wow, how do people smoke these things.



Final thoughts: Well, I thought this was gonna be a fun review of a relatively tasteless and mild cigar. Wow, was I wrong. How do people smoke this shit? It seriously was as bad as the Backwoods. Man, I wish my friend woulda given me a corona. I gotta ask him if he actually smokes this thing of if he was just messing with me. The blessing is that it does burn quickly. It normally takes me about two hours to get through a toro, I was down to the label on this in 45 minutes. I think I need to smoke a El Duque to get bad taste out of my mouth. If you actually spent the time to read the review do the opposite of what I'm about to write. ;) If not they get what's coming to them. ;D BTW, the staff who did the reviews for this on CI should be shot.

Liked it: Loved it, go out and get one if you can.
Buy again: Sure, they're a steal.
Reccommend: To all my friends.
 

Snake Hips

Götterdämmerung
At least the band has boobies :D :bn
:r

I love when people review these kinds of cigars, CI's "cheap gems." I never buy them because I don't want 40 cigars that will most likely suck bad, so I rely on you fellow BOTLs to brave the mysterious world of dollar sticks.
 

Texan in Mexico

Lowland Gorilla
Great review man, I really enjoyed it.

As the previous poster mentions, only through our peer reviews will we really know whats up with these bundle cigars and the 1 and 2 dollar sticks.

Thanks again and glad I read all the posts in their entirity!
 

bobarian

Elder Jungle Leader
Steve, Another great review! I am so glad I was not there to experience the aroma as you smoked that rocket. We will see how that baby compares to the Angry Elf that Papajohn sent me yesterday. Maybe you should smoke the whole thing instead of doing a PPP! :hn
 

SHOE

(__@_______{{{
Look at the foot on that thing! I've rolled up leaves in the yard and made it look better than that. None for me, thanks!
 

tzaddi

jardinero de la selva
Great review! Tzaddi gave me one of these...best thing about it is the band:tu

They are a novelty cigar that keeps the others in the humi "entertained". You're not supposed to smoke them. :r


Ratter's you are a brave soul and I hope that you don't have to do this again.

I also gave one to OB Darrell and Joan as well.

None the less a very good review. :tu
 

kasper13

Young Ape
I accidently won a 5er on cbid for $3. I bid on them as a joke, guess I will have to hand them out to people who don’t know better and hope they get distracted by the band and don’t notice how they taste
 

Coz77

Lowland Gorilla
Steve, Another great review! I am so glad I was not there to experience the aroma as you smoked that rocket. We will see how that baby compares to the Angry Elf that Papajohn sent me yesterday. Maybe you should smoke the whole thing instead of doing a PPP! :hn

Nice Job Steve I love these kind of reviews....Way to take one for the team. :tu

@ Bobarian... I look forward to your Angry Elf review :D
 

rizzle

Evolving Lead Gorilla
I accidently won a 5er on cbid for $3. I bid on them as a joke, guess I will have to hand them out to people who don’t know better and hope they get distracted by the band and don’t notice how they taste

I too won a 5'er for $3. You've got to smoke at least two before you throw the rest away. The first will be just as Ratters described. The second to confirm that, yes, they are actually that bad. :r

No more dollar smokes for me, I've learned my lesson. But I do love looking at that label and laughing when I flip through my journal.

Great review Ratters!!
:chk
 
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