Had to Say Goodbye to Kids Today

floydpink

cigar school graduate
I don't know what I could possible add except to say that I did actually cry reading about your daughters waving goodbye, but would like to share a story of my childhood in hopes you may realize that not only are kids resiliant, but I believe are relieved to see their parents unhappiness end.

I remember sitting on the top steps of my house with my 3 brothers crying as my parents fought nearly every night.

I remember "the talk" when my Dad told us he was leaving but would be close at all times.

I remember the relief we felt when we heard the pain we thought we were responsible for was over.

Please don't forget you are a great Dad and your kids know it.

This has been the toughest thread i have ever read here.
 

jbock

Donut Connoisseur
I don't know what I could possible add except to say that I did actually cry reading about your daughters waving goodbye, but would like to share a story of my childhood in hopes you may realize that not only are kids resiliant, but I believe are relieved to see their parents unhappiness end.

I remember sitting on the top steps of my house with my 3 brothers crying as my parents fought nearly every night.

I remember "the talk" when my Dad told us he was leaving but would be close at all times.

I remember the relief we felt when we heard the pain we thought we were responsible for was over.

Please don't forget you are a great Dad and your kids know it.

This has been the toughest thread i have ever read here.

That was a very powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing.

Again, thank you to you all.
 

Moro

ChestBeater
jbock...I don't think any words I utter will suffice yer pain. I cannot even start imagining how I would feel had I lost something as precious to me. I can only say that over here at CS ye have a brotherhood that's here in case ye need anything. Hoping the best for ye, mate.
 

EvanS

Slower Quadathlete
Very sorry to hear this. Stay strong and do the best you can for all of you. My thoughts are with you
 

macster

ChestBeater
Hang tough jbock. Your post really hit me in the gut hard. I'm kinda going through something similar. I filed for divorce several months ago and we're currently in the whirlwind of a custody evaluation since we are both battling it out for the primary custody of our 3 children, 15, 13 & 7. We're still co-habitating in our house so things are EXTREMELY tense to say the least.

I've been a stay-at-home-dad for the last 5 years while my wife has pursued her corporate career and MBA / Doctorate. I'm not goin' down without a fight!! However the thought of not being able to be with and see my kids everyday breaks my heart to no end.

As much as they can drive ya crazy at times I certainly don't know waht I'd do without them - especially now.

I'll be thinking of you.
 

Opusfxd

Lowland Gorilla
I read this on what was the anniversary of my first marraige, that didn't work out for very long. The important thing is my second marraige made me feel many of the same things you are feeling and going through. The only difference is the ex and I stayed in the same town. I don't know if it made it easier or harder being so close and knowing I was missing so much all these years.

Be the best Dad you can be, be there for everything from Brownies to Parent Teacher conferences that you can get to. The kids will appreciate it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let me know if you need anything.
 
JBock, I was in your shoes several years ago. I wish I could tell you it gets easy, but it doesn't. My kids are a two-hour drive away, and it kills me at times. My job (and now yours) is to be the best dad you can be given the circumstances. What I found helps is being the best ex-husband I can be. The kids never hear me bad mouth their mom. They never hear us argue or even "loudly discuss." I try to be cordial and respectful at all times. Disagreements can be taken up privately, and in an adult fashion. I'll pull no punches with you -- it's the stupid little things I miss the most. Everyone makes a effort for the big events -- holidays, birthdays, etc. -- but I miss going to every single ball game and parent helping at school and chaperoning field trips and helping in all the little ways a parent does when they live with their kids. You guys out there who have your kids at home: count you blessings boys. I'd trade the all to quiet solace of my home for the craziness that ensues when all three of my kids are around.

Good luck, JBock -- and remember: your job is to be the best dad you can be in the circumstance. You can have a great, loving relationship with your daughters even though you're miles away. But it's going to take work on your part. No, it's not fair, but that's what it is. I wish you much success.
 
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